Bullies and What Should Be Done

Remember the fight scene from "A Christmas Story?" Scutt Farkus, the bully with the freckles and the Daniel Boone hat, throws a snowball into Ralphie's face after he had a particularly trying day. Scutt then goads Ralphie further: "Oh, now you're gonna cry. Well go ahead, baby, cry. Cry! Wa-a-a-a-ah..." That final straw having broken the camel's back, Ralphie then turns on him, pounding his face with both fists while "...a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed."

I can't think of anyone who watched that and didn't feel good as it happened. Not that they revelled in the "violence" (if one could call it that; the scene is actually pretty tame), but that they felt a pang of bittersweet joy as Ralphie finally stood up for himself and the bully, whom no one liked, got put, nay - shoved, in his place. I think the narrator actually said something to the effect "he never bothered me again," although that may have just been implied.

Just about everyone is familiar with this literary meme. Bully picks on kids, one kid either gets fed up or finally learns to stand up for himself, said kid gets into fight with bully, bully gets his ass kicked, said kid is hero, bully skulks away never to be heard from again. It doesn't just happen to kids, but adults as well; it's a popular tale no mater who's involved. Everyone likes to see the bully get his comeuppance.

So why is it that the world isn't treating Islamic Fascism the same way? Al Qaeda can be compared to that schoolyard bully that no one likes, that everyone's afraid of, and that no one will stand up to. For all intents and purposes, the rest of the world is that playground, pretending that the bully isn't there, avoiding the bully, and just plain hoping that the bully will go pick on someone else.

The problem is that this bully isn't going away, especially not anytime soon. If that bully picks on someone else, he'll subdue them, and then come pick on you (whomever "you" happens to be) until some "Ralphie" comes along and kicks his ass.

The US is that Ralphie. Like in "A Christmas Story," Ralphie was a quiet, unassuming kid who really just wanted a neat toy and to be left alone. That pretty much sums up the entirety of American desire throughout its 226-year history. But the bully had to pick on him. Unfortunately for that bully, he picked the wrong way to do it.

As we near the 5th anniversary of September 11th, we need to remember one thing if nothing else: the world may not ever admit it, but it needs a Ralphie. It needs someone who will just flat go ape-shit and kick the bad guys' ass whenever no one else has the testicular fortitude to do it for themselves. It needs someone who won't turn into a bully themselves, but who can be depended on to bring the maximum level of force and violence (and then some) against the bullies of the world until they return to the barrens from whence they came, skulking and licking their wounds, never to be seriously heard from again.

We're that Ralphie. Time for us to start behaving like it.

Semper Fi,
The Almighty Mattski


PS - And for those of you who might be thinking, "If you're so ready and willing to fight, how come you're not over there?" It's because I'm too old; the Marine Corps is making their recruitment goals at 106% so they're not accepting anyone requiring an age waiver - the recruiter's exact words. So yeah, if my Marine Corps would let me, I'd be there in a heartbeat, so STFU.